FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene’ Brown, PhD
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” – Brene’ Brown Most of us want to belong. We want to be accepted, liked, and admired. Sometimes we feel that the only way to get this external validation is to silence an important part of ourselves […]
WHO I READ ONLINE: Parker Palmer
In an expression of gratitude, I am sharing about some of my favorite bloggers, writers, and thinkers while taking a break from writing my own blog. For me, reading Parker Palmer’s blog often feels like I am reading a letter I wrote to myself – one that reminds me of a truth I seem to […]
WHO I READ ONLINE: Margaret Wheatley
Taking a break from writing my own blog allows me the opportunity to appreciate the writing and wisdom of others. One such writer is Margaret Wheatley (aka Meg). If you haven’t encountered insights from “Meg” before, I am happy to introduce you to her. Wheatley’s website doesn’t offer a traditional blog but it does contain […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 3)
In Part 1 of this blog, I introduced white male privilege as a key leadership challenge. Last week’s Part 2 blog offered examples of “self-directed” actions – steps leaders can take to confront their own ignorance, complacency, and complicity. In this week’s blog, I’ll explore “outward-directed” actions that we can take to foster equal access […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 2)
Last week’s blog explored some initial thoughts about what it means to lead responsibly as a straight white male in our culture. I shared some questions I’ve been asking myself for a long time. This week I’ll explore what I call the “inner work” of taking responsibility in a world that favors people who look […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 1)
Back in the 1980s, I was at a small regional airport with a colleague named Michael. We were traveling together, running late and at risk of missing our flight. I suggested we sprint to the gate. Michael looked at me and said, “Larry, a guy who looks like me, particularly on a day I’m dressed […]
In My Tool Bag: The ABCDs of Communication Breakdown
Communication breakdowns are inevitable when you are trying to build a culture of candor on your team or in your organization. The first step in minimizing these painful events is by learning to recognize your own contribution to them. University of Washington psychologist John Gottman identified four communication behaviors that derail relationships so consistently he […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: Empathy: Mastering the Vocabulary of Emotions and Needs
In last week’s blog, I explored the role of empathy in building a culture of candor on a team. I define empathy as the capacity to understand and acknowledge others’ feelings and needs. Over the years I’ve noticed that one barrier, particularly for men, is that we don’t always have a great vocabulary for feelings […]
ON MY MIND: Using Empathy to Avoid “Weaponizing” Candor
There are times when our colleagues do or say things that we label as bothersome, disappointing, or even threatening to our interests. Based on their actions we make fast judgments about who they are – an obstacle, an inconvenience, or even an adversary. These conclusions serve as justification for us to take an aggressive tone, […]
ON MY MIND: Are You Speaking Up When it Matters?
Recently, I’ve been writing about how to build a culture of skillful candor on a team while emphasizing the necessity of courageous listening as a way to increase team learning and lay the foundation for safety. This kind of listening is an important capacity that’s central to a TRUEteam culture. Of equal importance is speaking […]