Four Ways to Calm Your Worries about the Future
The future has never felt more uncertain. How much time do you waste on excessive and unproductive worrying? I define “unproductive worry” as the downward spiral in which we take stock of the unknowns and convert them into worse case scenarios. We then fixate on those worse case scenarios and let them fuel anxiety and […]
Four Ways to Relate to Past Disappointments
When I revisit the past I often feel disappointed – in myself and in others. I fixate on ways I didn’t measure up to expectations or how I felt let down by those I trusted. The past, or more precisely stated – our relationship with the past – can provide a mountain of wisdom or […]
ON MY MIND: Healthy Teams, Building Trust One “Bid” at a Time
Think for a moment about a relationship at work that you really value. How would you describe this relationship? Now, think of a relationship where you feel less trust and connection. What makes these two relationships so different? According to relationship researcher John Gottman, we are constantly making “bids” for connection, support, and affirmation — […]
ON MY MIND: The Wisdom of Chickens
Chickens? Wisdom? Give me a chance to explain. When I’m working with leaders I often find myself coming back to three words of advice inspired by author Greg McKeowen – “protect the asset.” He wrote: The best asset we have for making a contribution to the world is ourselves. If we underinvest in ourselves, and […]
ON MY MIND: Post-Traumatic Growth
“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning.” —Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning I’ve always been interested in self-repair – the ways in which we put ourselves back together after things fall apart. Over the last year, more and more of us are feeling a little (or […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World by Vivek Murthy
Everyday, I speak with leaders who are surrounded by people and yet admit that they feel lonely. Loneliness is defined in Vivek Murthy’s book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World as “the subjective feeling that you are lacking the social connections that you need.” When I began reading Murthy’s […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: Unresolve! Divest Yourself of What No Longer Serves
I am not a big fan of new year resolutions. Yes, I am a very goal-driven person, but the idea of adding more commitments to an already full list of promises I’ve made to myself and others stresses me out. If you follow my blog you know that I am a fan of a book […]
ON MY MIND: Coming Back Together (Part 1)
Nearly everywhere I look I see communities, families, and friends mired in division, derision, and despair. Increasingly, we talk about those who are working toward different outcomes not as our opponents but as our enemies. And when it comes to enemies, we feel self-justified in doing whatever we must in order to win. We live […]
IN MY EARBUDS: Where Workplace Dynamics Meet Therapy
Most of us carry the very same blind spots, limiting beliefs, and relational habits to work as those we demonstrate in our personal relationships. And, for better and worse, those patterns impact the people around us – our employees, our colleagues, and our business partners. Or as the host of the podcast How’s Work? likes […]
FROM MY BOOK SHELF: My Three Go-to Books During Difficult Times
A friend recently asked me what books I turn to during difficult times. An apt question these days. One that caused me to realize that there are three books that I always keep close at hand. I often travel with these books, re-reading the many passages I have underlined and the personal notes I’ve made […]