Savoring and Rumination Part 2: Spit Out that Old Piece of Gum
In Part 1 of this three-part blog series, I described two cycles of thinking – savoring and rumination. Picture rumination as chewing the same piece of gum for hours and hours. The flavor is gone but you can’t seem to spit it out. In contrast, savoring is like slowly turning a gemstone in the light, […]
Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
In a collection of Jewish teachings known as Midrash, the 4th century Rabbi Tanchuma is cited as saying: “When you expect gratitude, you are making your kindness a business transaction.” We all have a tendency to believe that each day we act with unconditional kindness and generosity. But the truth is, we spend a lot […]
Getting Wiser (Part 4): Embrace Vulnerability
If there is a holy grail of leadership (especially for men), embracing vulnerability might be it. Vulnerability means being open about one’s weaknesses and struggles, and empathetic to others’ when they are vulnerable. It is not always easy to be vulnerable, and especially so for people in positions of leadership. Why is vulnerability so difficult? […]
Getting Wiser (Part 3): Look for the Good
“Mankind will not perish for want of information; but only for want of appreciation.” -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel I used to spend a lot of time in airplanes and hotels, neither of which are places where humans tend to flourish. Travel days always felt frustrating and stressful… until I invented a simple, yet game-changing practice […]
Getting Wiser (Part 2): Partner with the “Unwanted”
At least 50% of surprises that come my way are unwanted by me. I know they are unwanted because my inner judge immediately labels them as dangerous, or bad, or inconvenient. I quickly double down on a conviction that the unwanted people or circumstances: 1) are being done “to me”, and 2) are the impediment […]
Getting Wiser (Part 1): Engage in Self-Reflection
During her first coaching session with me, a CEO client recently declared, “I don’t spend a minute looking backward. I’m all about the future.” My reply: “Well, then you’re not even close to reaching your full potential.” To her credit she didn’t fire me. Instead she laughed and asked me to explain. Here’s a version […]
Are You an Over-functioning Leader? Part 3: Changing How You Lead
In part 1 of this blog series, we explored what over-functioning looks like and the price people and organizations may pay for this behavior. In part 2, we examined some of the underlying beliefs and behavior patterns that tend to cause over-functioning. In this third and final installment, we will take a look at how […]
Leadership Lessons from an 18-year-old Tennis Star
Whether in business, politics, entertainment, or sports, there are many stories of fast-ascending stars who lose themselves under the spotlight of success and fame. That’s one reason why the exceptions stand out. In this week’s blog, I’m featuring a modern-day super star who really stands out… 18-year-old tennis player Coco Gauff, recently profiled in New […]
Recognizing and Dealing with Defensiveness
It’s not easy to give critical feedback. Especially when the person on the receiving end gets defensive. Here are five common types of defensive responses. How many have you encountered (or perhaps even caught yourself engaging in)? Deny or Argue Intent: Cause internal doubt for the person delivering the critical feedback. Sounds like: “That’s crazy. […]
Resources for Building Bridges Across Divides
Lately I’ve been yearning for reasons to feel hopeful. Our country feels more polarized than ever and, regardless of political affiliation, people seem less interested in listening, more self-righteous, and quicker to dismiss and label the “other” as the “enemy” or “idiot”. I’ve seen this dynamic spill over into families and even the workplace. So, […]