IN MY TOOL BAG: Empathy: Mastering the Vocabulary of Emotions and Needs
In last week’s blog, I explored the role of empathy in building a culture of candor on a team. I define empathy as the capacity to understand and acknowledge others’ feelings and needs. Over the years I’ve noticed that one barrier, particularly for men, is that we don’t always have a great vocabulary for feelings […]
ON MY MIND: Using Empathy to Avoid “Weaponizing” Candor
There are times when our colleagues do or say things that we label as bothersome, disappointing, or even threatening to our interests. Based on their actions we make fast judgments about who they are – an obstacle, an inconvenience, or even an adversary. These conclusions serve as justification for us to take an aggressive tone, […]
ON MY MIND: Are You Speaking Up When it Matters?
Recently, I’ve been writing about how to build a culture of skillful candor on a team while emphasizing the necessity of courageous listening as a way to increase team learning and lay the foundation for safety. This kind of listening is an important capacity that’s central to a TRUEteam culture. Of equal importance is speaking […]
ON MY MIND: Courageous Listening Opens the Door to Candor
In last week’s blog, I wrote about what it means to foster a team culture of respectful, real-time candor in contrast to one of inauthentic niceness. It’s easy to conclude that candor is all about speaking the truth. But the key to building a culture of candor is in how we listen. Teams in which […]
ON MY MIND: Saying “Nice Job” Isn’t Enough
Great leaders understand that they can never give enough recognition as long as it is honest and deserved. For many employees, the right kind of recognition is as valued as monetary rewards. But too often leaders make these errors: The throw-away thank you – Delivering a quick (and superficial) “hey thanks for that” without describing […]
ON MY MIND, A 3-PART SERIES- PART 1: Four Mental Hijackers
We live in a world of information overload where it’s easy to lose focus on what matters most. From a 24/7 barrage of social media to fervent multi-tasking,- we’re distracted by micro-urgencies that scream for our attention: right now! But in addition to these glaring external distractions, there’s a secondary, subtle set of distractions that […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Courageous Leadership: Leading and Living with Integrity
“What would you do with more courage?” This phrase, in the preface of Shelly Francis’s book, captured me. It immediately brought to mind what I would do: Instead of trying to control a challenging situation I would trust my intuition. I would be willing to make the wrong move. I would draw more frequently on […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
My least favorite kind of book is the modern-day leadership parable: Too often the characters are simplistic and the narrative stilted. An exception to my distaste is The Anatomy of Peace, a book inspired by real events. The Anatomy of Peace tells a compelling story of people who, despite having every reason to hate one […]
ON MY MIND: Intentional Leadership and the Daily Five
I used to start my mornings with the jolt of an alarm clock that would set into motion a mental list of tasks that I needed to get done throughout the day. This habit enabled me to get a lot of “stuff” done. But, over time, I began to notice that even though I was […]