ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations, Shift 4 From Rigged Questions to Real Inquiry
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more effective in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 4 involves moving from cross-examination and leading (or rigged) questions to questions based on a sincere desire to learn. When you feel strongly about an issue do you notice yourself over advocating […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations Shift 3, From Intent-focused to Impact-focused
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more successful in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 3 involves checking our assumptions about another person’s motives, character, and competence. Our human brains are wired for short-cuts. We see something and then quickly, and unconsciously, make up a story. That […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 2, From Cryptic to Candid
In this series I’m exploring the Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more successful in having high-stakes conversations — conversations about topics that matter to you and that may elicit conflict or strong emotions in others. Shift 1 was about going into high-stakes conversations with a clear […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 1, From Preoccupied to Purposeful
In this series of posts I’m sharing Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more effective in having high-stakes conversations. For most of us, when we think about having an uncomfortable conversation we worry a lot about what could go wrong, including defensiveness (theirs and ours), conflict escalation, […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations
It’s the moment of truth. You can’t put it off any longer. The time has come for a difficult conversation with your colleague. You must express serious concerns about their actions or disagreement with them. You worry it will spark defensiveness or do damage to the relationship — and with good reason! It’s become uncomfortably […]
ON MY MIND: Learning to THiNK Before You Speak
I’m a big believer in free speech. But, when it comes to my own freedom of expression, I’ve learned that there’s such a thing as speaking too freely – too hastily, too re-actively, too fervently — especially when I am trying to influence others. Asking myself the following four questions is particularly helpful when I […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Are You a Trustworthy Leader?
Leaders often ask me: How can we build trust on this team? I don’t think that’s the right question. Both inside and outside of work, trust is the basis of all relationships. And that trust has to be earned. So, I prefer to ask: How do we become more trustworthy team members? In reviewing the […]
ON MY MIND: Creating “Brave Space” for Hard Conversations
I recently stumbled onto a project called The People’s Supper. Its aim is to bring together people of different identities and perspectives over a meal and to have conversations grounded in unconditional welcoming, kindness, and openness. Many of these suppers open with the reading of a poem called “The Brave Space Invitation” written by Beth […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Three Skills for Drawing People Out
One measure of success in your meetings is the extent to which all of the different perspectives in the room were expressed. For a lot of reasons, including differences in power and status, and sense of safety, people don’t necessarily offer their ideas in groups. Here are three facilitation techniques that help to invite everyone’s […]
ON MY MIND: Six Practices for Difficult Times
Lately I’ve had an inordinate number of clients reach out to share that they are going through difficult times — health challenges, loss of key employees and/or customers, financial struggles, organizational changes that impact their sense of job security, etc. They say they feel like the rug has been pulled out from under their feet. […]