ON MY MIND: Leadership and the Art of Subtraction
In my free time, I carve wooden spoons. The process of carving a spoon is quite simple: Draw a spoon on a piece of wood and then carve away the extraneous material. Unlike art forms that are additive, spoon carving involves incremental subtraction — gradually taking away wood in order to reveal the spoon’s essential […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Originals: How NonConformists Move the World by Adam Grant
Conformity – going with the established ways of doing things — is a reasonable strategy when it comes to navigating your career. It’s the path of least resistance. But according to author Adam Grant, if you want to change the world, you must pursue the path of originality. In Originals, Grant combines academic research about […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene’ Brown, PhD
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” – Brene’ Brown Most of us want to belong. We want to be accepted, liked, and admired. Sometimes we feel that the only way to get this external validation is to silence an important part of ourselves […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: “What’s Your Story” Cards
One of my favorite writers, Margaret Wheatley, wrote: “You can’t hate someone whose story you know.” I would add that when you learn a person’s story you can’t help but see part of yourself in them. Our stories reveal parts of us that transcend resumes and elevator pitches. They bring to light our values, beliefs, […]
WHO I READ ONLINE: Parker Palmer
In an expression of gratitude, I am sharing about some of my favorite bloggers, writers, and thinkers while taking a break from writing my own blog. For me, reading Parker Palmer’s blog often feels like I am reading a letter I wrote to myself – one that reminds me of a truth I seem to […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 2)
Last week’s blog explored some initial thoughts about what it means to lead responsibly as a straight white male in our culture. I shared some questions I’ve been asking myself for a long time. This week I’ll explore what I call the “inner work” of taking responsibility in a world that favors people who look […]
In My Tool Bag: The ABCDs of Communication Breakdown
Communication breakdowns are inevitable when you are trying to build a culture of candor on your team or in your organization. The first step in minimizing these painful events is by learning to recognize your own contribution to them. University of Washington psychologist John Gottman identified four communication behaviors that derail relationships so consistently he […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: Empathy: Mastering the Vocabulary of Emotions and Needs
In last week’s blog, I explored the role of empathy in building a culture of candor on a team. I define empathy as the capacity to understand and acknowledge others’ feelings and needs. Over the years I’ve noticed that one barrier, particularly for men, is that we don’t always have a great vocabulary for feelings […]
ON MY MIND: Using Empathy to Avoid “Weaponizing” Candor
There are times when our colleagues do or say things that we label as bothersome, disappointing, or even threatening to our interests. Based on their actions we make fast judgments about who they are – an obstacle, an inconvenience, or even an adversary. These conclusions serve as justification for us to take an aggressive tone, […]
ON MY MIND: Are You Speaking Up When it Matters?
Recently, I’ve been writing about how to build a culture of skillful candor on a team while emphasizing the necessity of courageous listening as a way to increase team learning and lay the foundation for safety. This kind of listening is an important capacity that’s central to a TRUEteam culture. Of equal importance is speaking […]