ON MY MIND: Ask Open Questions
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” — Rainer Maria Rilke Asking open questions is an essential leadership skill. Thoughtfully formed questions can transform a […]
ON MY MIND: Learning to THiNK Before You Speak
I’m a big believer in free speech. But, when it comes to my own freedom of expression, I’ve learned that there’s such a thing as speaking too freely – too hastily, too re-actively, too fervently — especially when I am trying to influence others. Asking myself the following four questions is particularly helpful when I […]
ON MY MIND: Back to Meeting Basics with OARRs
I recently walked into a client’s conference room and smiled when I saw this sign on the wall: No Objectives? No Agenda? No Ground Rules? NO MEETING! Most would read this sign and think: “Duh. I already know that.” But, knowing is different than doing. And just doing is different than skillful and conscientious doing. […]
ON MY MIND: Creating “Brave Space” for Hard Conversations
I recently stumbled onto a project called The People’s Supper. Its aim is to bring together people of different identities and perspectives over a meal and to have conversations grounded in unconditional welcoming, kindness, and openness. Many of these suppers open with the reading of a poem called “The Brave Space Invitation” written by Beth […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Three Skills for Drawing People Out
One measure of success in your meetings is the extent to which all of the different perspectives in the room were expressed. For a lot of reasons, including differences in power and status, and sense of safety, people don’t necessarily offer their ideas in groups. Here are three facilitation techniques that help to invite everyone’s […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Moments of Impact by Chris Ertel and Lisa Kay Solomon
What’s the best way to address complex challenges facing your organization? Bringing smart people together for truly strategic conversations. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but the reason for the reminder is a lament that I often hear from leaders: I thought I did everything right. I put a logical agenda together, […]
IN MY EARBUDS: HBR Women at Work
Voices in my head that are not my own: This is how I think of podcasts. These days, one of my favorite set of voices to listen to is HBR Women at Work hosted by Amy Bernstein, Amy Gallo, and Nicole Torres – three Harvard Business School powerhouses who think deeply about gender in the […]
ON MY MIND: Wisdom of Improvisation
Are you someone who dislikes surprises? Do chaos, messiness, and unpredictability stress you out? Do you find yourself perplexed by and just a bit envious of people who have the capacity to just “go with the flow?” I, for one, do not like surprises or messiness. I’m a planner. Some would say a control freak. […]
ON MY MIND: Leading is Convening
“I-don’t-know.” These are three words that most leaders rarely, if ever, dare utter. Why does the admission of “not knowing” feel so uncomfortable? As a client once shared with me, “A failure to know the answer or offer the solution feels like a failure of my leadership. That’s my job!” I disagree. Always knowing the […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): Why We Fear It, How We Fix It By M. Tamra Chandler with Laura Dowling Grealish
Everywhere we look in organizational life there is evidence that feedback is a source of fear and anxiety, both for the people on the receiving end and for those delivering it. It’s time to “fix” feedback. Too often feedback is: Non-existent: Feedback is simply avoided through an unspoken “don’t ask for it, don’t give it” […]