IN MY EARBUDS: Where Workplace Dynamics Meet Therapy
Most of us carry the very same blind spots, limiting beliefs, and relational habits to work as those we demonstrate in our personal relationships. And, for better and worse, those patterns impact the people around us – our employees, our colleagues, and our business partners. Or as the host of the podcast How’s Work? likes […]
ON MY MIND: Distributed Teams (Part 1) — Here to Stay
Until recently, remote jobs were a novelty in industries outside of technology. Most of my clients resisted the idea of hiring anyone who couldn’t show up each day at the office. Today, many of those same leaders are asking: “Why do we have these offices?” Before COVID-19 forced more companies to go fully remote, Twenty-six […]
ON MY MIND: Good Work is Not the Same as Hard Work
Ease (noun): The absence of difficulty or effort; simplicity. One day, in later life, I found myself on the acupuncture table exhausted from a thrown out back. As I lay there, I worried about all of the productive work time I was losing. Imetai, my acupuncturist must have sensed my escalating heart rate. He knew […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations Shift 6, From Being Right to Being Kind
“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” -Abraham Joshua Heschel In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more successful in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 6 involves shifting from being right to being kind. Here’s what I […]
Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations, Shift 5: From Blame to Shared Contribution
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more effective in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 5 involves less focus on looking for someone to blame, and more effort trying to understand what happened. Consultant Marylin Paul wrote in The Systems Thinker: “Blame provides an early and artificial […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations, Shift 4 From Rigged Questions to Real Inquiry
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more effective in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 4 involves moving from cross-examination and leading (or rigged) questions to questions based on a sincere desire to learn. When you feel strongly about an issue do you notice yourself over advocating […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations Shift 3, From Intent-focused to Impact-focused
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more successful in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 3 involves checking our assumptions about another person’s motives, character, and competence. Our human brains are wired for short-cuts. We see something and then quickly, and unconsciously, make up a story. That […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 2, From Cryptic to Candid
In this series I’m exploring the Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more successful in having high-stakes conversations — conversations about topics that matter to you and that may elicit conflict or strong emotions in others. Shift 1 was about going into high-stakes conversations with a clear […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 1, From Preoccupied to Purposeful
In this series of posts I’m sharing Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more effective in having high-stakes conversations. For most of us, when we think about having an uncomfortable conversation we worry a lot about what could go wrong, including defensiveness (theirs and ours), conflict escalation, […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations
It’s the moment of truth. You can’t put it off any longer. The time has come for a difficult conversation with your colleague. You must express serious concerns about their actions or disagreement with them. You worry it will spark defensiveness or do damage to the relationship — and with good reason! It’s become uncomfortably […]