Do You REALLY “Get” Them?
If you are going to lead – truly lead a team – there is one thing your people must believe and say about you; “my leader gets me”. This phrase is shorthand for: You know what motivates them to show up each day. You seek to understand and affirm their feelings and perspectives. You take […]
Resources for Building Bridges Across Divides
Lately I’ve been yearning for reasons to feel hopeful. Our country feels more polarized than ever and, regardless of political affiliation, people seem less interested in listening, more self-righteous, and quicker to dismiss and label the “other” as the “enemy” or “idiot”. I’ve seen this dynamic spill over into families and even the workplace. So, […]
All You Have to Do is Ask by Dr. Wayne Baker
Not asking for help is one of the most self-limiting, self-constraining, and even self-destructive decisions we can make. – Dr. Wayne Baker About eight years ago, while I was having coffee with a Denver-based client, I mentioned my desire to reduce work-related travel. I went on to ask if he might connect me with potential […]
Ugly Fruit and the Art of Holding Judgment
The mind is amazing in its ability to process information and also the speed at which it reaches conclusions. The problem is: such conclusions are often based on judgments or attributions that are inaccurate. We see things only from where we sit, filtered – often unconsciously – through all kinds of biases based on past […]
Four Ways to Relate to Past Disappointments
When I revisit the past I often feel disappointed – in myself and in others. I fixate on ways I didn’t measure up to expectations or how I felt let down by those I trusted. The past, or more precisely stated – our relationship with the past – can provide a mountain of wisdom or […]
ON MY MIND: Good Design Has No Victims. Same Goes for Good Leadership.
I recently spent the afternoon at Denver’s Museum of Contemporary Art. One of the exhibitions featured a 10-foot high poster created by Rick Griffith of @MATTERdesign entitled: “An Introductory Ethic for Designers.” As I looked up at the massive manifesto and reviewed its 17 principles, it struck me that the word “leader” could easily replace […]
ON MY MIND: Healthy Teams, Building Trust One “Bid” at a Time
Think for a moment about a relationship at work that you really value. How would you describe this relationship? Now, think of a relationship where you feel less trust and connection. What makes these two relationships so different? According to relationship researcher John Gottman, we are constantly making “bids” for connection, support, and affirmation — […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Think Again by Adam Grant
The old saying, “seeing is believing” doesn’t really describe how we operate as humans. If you’ve spent any time with me in a workshop, you’ve probably heard me tell a favorite story that challenges this conventional wisdom. There’s this elderly couple. The wife Ethel becomes concerned that her beloved husband Joe is losing his hearing. […]
ON MY MIND: Becoming an Adult
In a blog about “post-traumatic growth,” I explored how our most painful life events can positively shape us as people and leaders. Healing from trauma requires that we see ourselves as capable of growing – even transforming — during the course of our adult lives. Some believe that reaching adulthood is the culmination of surviving […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: Unresolve! Divest Yourself of What No Longer Serves
I am not a big fan of new year resolutions. Yes, I am a very goal-driven person, but the idea of adding more commitments to an already full list of promises I’ve made to myself and others stresses me out. If you follow my blog you know that I am a fan of a book […]