ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 1, From Preoccupied to Purposeful
In this series of posts I’m sharing Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more effective in having high-stakes conversations. For most of us, when we think about having an uncomfortable conversation we worry a lot about what could go wrong, including defensiveness (theirs and ours), conflict escalation, […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations
It’s the moment of truth. You can’t put it off any longer. The time has come for a difficult conversation with your colleague. You must express serious concerns about their actions or disagreement with them. You worry it will spark defensiveness or do damage to the relationship — and with good reason! It’s become uncomfortably […]
ON MY MIND: Ask Open Questions
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” — Rainer Maria Rilke Asking open questions is an essential leadership skill. Thoughtfully formed questions can transform a […]
IN MY EARBUDS: How I Built This
It’s easy to assume that people who start iconic companies succeed because they are smarter, luckier, and more capable than the rest of us. But when you listen to Guy Raz, host of the podcast “How I Built This”, interview the founders of companies like DoorDash, Lonely Planet, Burt’s Bees, and Lyft, you realize that […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Are You a Trustworthy Leader?
Leaders often ask me: How can we build trust on this team? I don’t think that’s the right question. Both inside and outside of work, trust is the basis of all relationships. And that trust has to be earned. So, I prefer to ask: How do we become more trustworthy team members? In reviewing the […]
ON MY MIND: Back to Meeting Basics with OARRs
I recently walked into a client’s conference room and smiled when I saw this sign on the wall: No Objectives? No Agenda? No Ground Rules? NO MEETING! Most would read this sign and think: “Duh. I already know that.” But, knowing is different than doing. And just doing is different than skillful and conscientious doing. […]
ON MY MIND: Creating “Brave Space” for Hard Conversations
I recently stumbled onto a project called The People’s Supper. Its aim is to bring together people of different identities and perspectives over a meal and to have conversations grounded in unconditional welcoming, kindness, and openness. Many of these suppers open with the reading of a poem called “The Brave Space Invitation” written by Beth […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Three Skills for Drawing People Out
One measure of success in your meetings is the extent to which all of the different perspectives in the room were expressed. For a lot of reasons, including differences in power and status, and sense of safety, people don’t necessarily offer their ideas in groups. Here are three facilitation techniques that help to invite everyone’s […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Moments of Impact by Chris Ertel and Lisa Kay Solomon
What’s the best way to address complex challenges facing your organization? Bringing smart people together for truly strategic conversations. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but the reason for the reminder is a lament that I often hear from leaders: I thought I did everything right. I put a logical agenda together, […]
ON MY MIND: Wisdom of Improvisation
Are you someone who dislikes surprises? Do chaos, messiness, and unpredictability stress you out? Do you find yourself perplexed by and just a bit envious of people who have the capacity to just “go with the flow?” I, for one, do not like surprises or messiness. I’m a planner. Some would say a control freak. […]