ON MY MIND: Ask Open Questions
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” — Rainer Maria Rilke Asking open questions is an essential leadership skill. Thoughtfully formed questions can transform a […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Are You a Trustworthy Leader?
Leaders often ask me: How can we build trust on this team? I don’t think that’s the right question. Both inside and outside of work, trust is the basis of all relationships. And that trust has to be earned. So, I prefer to ask: How do we become more trustworthy team members? In reviewing the […]
ON MY MIND: Creating “Brave Space” for Hard Conversations
I recently stumbled onto a project called The People’s Supper. Its aim is to bring together people of different identities and perspectives over a meal and to have conversations grounded in unconditional welcoming, kindness, and openness. Many of these suppers open with the reading of a poem called “The Brave Space Invitation” written by Beth […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): Why We Fear It, How We Fix It By M. Tamra Chandler with Laura Dowling Grealish
Everywhere we look in organizational life there is evidence that feedback is a source of fear and anxiety, both for the people on the receiving end and for those delivering it. It’s time to “fix” feedback. Too often feedback is: Non-existent: Feedback is simply avoided through an unspoken “don’t ask for it, don’t give it” […]
ON MY MIND: Masks, Light, and Leadership
I recently facilitated a workshop at the Encuentro Internacional de Equipos de Trabajo —an amazing international conference on best practices and innovations in workplace collaboration. My workshop was called: Taking Off Our Masks to Unleash the Power of Authenticity on Your Team. These are the words I used to open the workshop: “People are like […]
ON MY MIND: Saying a Skillful “No”
What makes saying “no” so difficult? First, we all have these archetypal saboteurs that run like tape recordings in our heads. Some of the saboteurs that make saying “no” most difficult include: The pleaser who believes “people won’t like or value me if I don’t meet their needs by saying ‘yes.’” The hyper-achiever who believes […]
ON MY MIND: Retreats that Make a Difference (Part 1)
re*treat. (verb) withdraw to a quiet or secluded place. (noun) a designated time of seclusion from routine activities to gain clarity and/or renewal. Retreats do two important things. First, they take us “away”—far from the demands of the office and shielded from everyday interruptions. Second, they bring us “together”— into a common, in-person, relaxed space. […]
ON MY MIND: Making Smart Choices in a Really Awful Situation
There are many versions of “really awful” at work. Your boss is absent or worse – an unappreciative, narcissistic bully. Or maybe you’ve realized that the philosophy or direction of your organization just doesn’t fit your values and you feel out of integrity. Perhaps you have realized that you are in the middle of a […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene’ Brown, PhD
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” – Brene’ Brown Most of us want to belong. We want to be accepted, liked, and admired. Sometimes we feel that the only way to get this external validation is to silence an important part of ourselves […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: “What’s Your Story” Cards
One of my favorite writers, Margaret Wheatley, wrote: “You can’t hate someone whose story you know.” I would add that when you learn a person’s story you can’t help but see part of yourself in them. Our stories reveal parts of us that transcend resumes and elevator pitches. They bring to light our values, beliefs, […]