ON MY MIND: Is Your Leadership Feeding the Roots?
When Linda and I lived in the state of Washington we planted a small orchard of apple and pear trees on our property. About three years after planting I began to notice discoloration on the leaves of the trees. I responded by spraying, dusting, and trimming back the deadened branches. But the problem only grew […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 2)
Last week’s blog explored some initial thoughts about what it means to lead responsibly as a straight white male in our culture. I shared some questions I’ve been asking myself for a long time. This week I’ll explore what I call the “inner work” of taking responsibility in a world that favors people who look […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 1)
Back in the 1980s, I was at a small regional airport with a colleague named Michael. We were traveling together, running late and at risk of missing our flight. I suggested we sprint to the gate. Michael looked at me and said, “Larry, a guy who looks like me, particularly on a day I’m dressed […]
In My Tool Bag: The ABCDs of Communication Breakdown
Communication breakdowns are inevitable when you are trying to build a culture of candor on your team or in your organization. The first step in minimizing these painful events is by learning to recognize your own contribution to them. University of Washington psychologist John Gottman identified four communication behaviors that derail relationships so consistently he […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: Empathy: Mastering the Vocabulary of Emotions and Needs
In last week’s blog, I explored the role of empathy in building a culture of candor on a team. I define empathy as the capacity to understand and acknowledge others’ feelings and needs. Over the years I’ve noticed that one barrier, particularly for men, is that we don’t always have a great vocabulary for feelings […]
ON MY MIND: Using Empathy to Avoid “Weaponizing” Candor
There are times when our colleagues do or say things that we label as bothersome, disappointing, or even threatening to our interests. Based on their actions we make fast judgments about who they are – an obstacle, an inconvenience, or even an adversary. These conclusions serve as justification for us to take an aggressive tone, […]
ON MY MIND: Are You Speaking Up When it Matters?
Recently, I’ve been writing about how to build a culture of skillful candor on a team while emphasizing the necessity of courageous listening as a way to increase team learning and lay the foundation for safety. This kind of listening is an important capacity that’s central to a TRUEteam culture. Of equal importance is speaking […]
ON MY MIND: Courageous Listening Opens the Door to Candor
In last week’s blog, I wrote about what it means to foster a team culture of respectful, real-time candor in contrast to one of inauthentic niceness. It’s easy to conclude that candor is all about speaking the truth. But the key to building a culture of candor is in how we listen. Teams in which […]
ON MY MIND: The End of Niceness: Building a Culture of Candor
There is a problem with your team. It’s niceness. I’m not referring to treating people with civility and kindness. I’m referring to an inauthentic politeness that involves withholding important critical feedback and avoiding difficult conversations. Niceness in the way I’ve defined it above gets in the way of your team’s learning, improving, and building true […]
ON MY MIND: Saying “Nice Job” Isn’t Enough
Great leaders understand that they can never give enough recognition as long as it is honest and deserved. For many employees, the right kind of recognition is as valued as monetary rewards. But too often leaders make these errors: The throw-away thank you – Delivering a quick (and superficial) “hey thanks for that” without describing […]