IN MY EARBUDS: Where Workplace Dynamics Meet Therapy
Most of us carry the very same blind spots, limiting beliefs, and relational habits to work as those we demonstrate in our personal relationships. And, for better and worse, those patterns impact the people around us – our employees, our colleagues, and our business partners. Or as the host of the podcast How’s Work? likes […]
ON MY MIND: The Power of the Pause
When I was 16 years old a neighbor took me fly fishing. When we got to the river bank the first thing he explained was this: “These rocks are slippery. So, if you lose your balance and fall into the river, don’t fight it. There’s no use fighting with gravity or the river’s current. So, […]
ON MY MIND: Good Work is Not the Same as Hard Work
Ease (noun): The absence of difficulty or effort; simplicity. One day, in later life, I found myself on the acupuncture table exhausted from a thrown out back. As I lay there, I worried about all of the productive work time I was losing. Imetai, my acupuncturist must have sensed my escalating heart rate. He knew […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: A Mindful Approach to Washing Hands
It seems like we’ve all been spending a lot of time engaging in two distinct activities lately — hand-washing and hand wringing (e.g., worrying about the future). The latter activity —worry — has us predicting or imagining a negative future and then living with that fear as if the future has already happened. Notice that […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations Shift 6, From Being Right to Being Kind
“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” -Abraham Joshua Heschel In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more successful in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 6 involves shifting from being right to being kind. Here’s what I […]
Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations, Shift 5: From Blame to Shared Contribution
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more effective in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 5 involves less focus on looking for someone to blame, and more effort trying to understand what happened. Consultant Marylin Paul wrote in The Systems Thinker: “Blame provides an early and artificial […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations, Shift 4 From Rigged Questions to Real Inquiry
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more effective in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 4 involves moving from cross-examination and leading (or rigged) questions to questions based on a sincere desire to learn. When you feel strongly about an issue do you notice yourself over advocating […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations Shift 3, From Intent-focused to Impact-focused
In this series I’m sharing the Six Shifts leaders can make in order to be more successful in having a high-stakes conversation. Shift 3 involves checking our assumptions about another person’s motives, character, and competence. Our human brains are wired for short-cuts. We see something and then quickly, and unconsciously, make up a story. That […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 2, From Cryptic to Candid
In this series I’m exploring the Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more successful in having high-stakes conversations — conversations about topics that matter to you and that may elicit conflict or strong emotions in others. Shift 1 was about going into high-stakes conversations with a clear […]
ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High Stakes Conversations, Shift 1, From Preoccupied to Purposeful
In this series of posts I’m sharing Six Shifts in mindset and behavior that leaders can make in order to be more effective in having high-stakes conversations. For most of us, when we think about having an uncomfortable conversation we worry a lot about what could go wrong, including defensiveness (theirs and ours), conflict escalation, […]