ON MY MIND: Six Shifts for High-Stakes Conversations
It’s the moment of truth. You can’t put it off any longer. The time has come for a difficult conversation with your colleague. You must express serious concerns about their actions or disagreement with them. You worry it will spark defensiveness or do damage to the relationship — and with good reason! It’s become uncomfortably […]
ON MY MIND: Ask Open Questions
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” — Rainer Maria Rilke Asking open questions is an essential leadership skill. Thoughtfully formed questions can transform a […]
ON MY MIND: Learning to THiNK Before You Speak
I’m a big believer in free speech. But, when it comes to my own freedom of expression, I’ve learned that there’s such a thing as speaking too freely – too hastily, too re-actively, too fervently — especially when I am trying to influence others. Asking myself the following four questions is particularly helpful when I […]
FROM MY TOOL BAG: Are You a Trustworthy Leader?
Leaders often ask me: How can we build trust on this team? I don’t think that’s the right question. Both inside and outside of work, trust is the basis of all relationships. And that trust has to be earned. So, I prefer to ask: How do we become more trustworthy team members? In reviewing the […]
ON MY MIND: Six Practices for Difficult Times
Lately I’ve had an inordinate number of clients reach out to share that they are going through difficult times — health challenges, loss of key employees and/or customers, financial struggles, organizational changes that impact their sense of job security, etc. They say they feel like the rug has been pulled out from under their feet. […]
IN MY TOOL BAG: 3+3+3 Centering Practice
When friends ask me, “how’s your week going?” my most common response is “intense.” It’s not that my work is any more demanding than yours. It’s that I have a tendency to be hyper-focused —tuning out even my own basic needs, like food. While this characteristic makes me very productive, it can also deplete me […]
ON MY MIND: The Art of Self-Repair
Recently, I discovered Kintsugi, a fifteenth century Japanese art form dedicated to repairing broken ceramics by filling in the cracks with gold. Once the repair is complete, the “brokenness” of the item — its defects — become its source of beauty and resilience. What if the trials and challenges we face in life were simply […]
ON MY MIND: Leading is Convening
“I-don’t-know.” These are three words that most leaders rarely, if ever, dare utter. Why does the admission of “not knowing” feel so uncomfortable? As a client once shared with me, “A failure to know the answer or offer the solution feels like a failure of my leadership. That’s my job!” I disagree. Always knowing the […]
ON MY MIND: Masks, Light, and Leadership
I recently facilitated a workshop at the Encuentro Internacional de Equipos de Trabajo —an amazing international conference on best practices and innovations in workplace collaboration. My workshop was called: Taking Off Our Masks to Unleash the Power of Authenticity on Your Team. These are the words I used to open the workshop: “People are like […]
ON MY MIND: Demanding vs. Demeaning
Over the past month I’ve been in very similar conversations with three different clients. They’ve gone something like this: Client: I think some of my people think I’m a real a$$hole. Me: Why might they feel that way? Client: Because before I arrived nobody demanded much of them and I do. Me: What do you […]