Savoring and Rumination Part 2: Spit Out that Old Piece of Gum
In Part 1 of this three-part blog series, I described two cycles of thinking – savoring and rumination. Picture rumination as chewing the same piece of gum for hours and hours. The flavor is gone but you can’t seem to spit it out. In contrast, savoring is like slowly turning a gemstone in the light, […]
Becoming a Non-Anxious Leader
We live in an age of anxiety, and it is contagious. One of the most common self-defeating patterns I see in the leaders I coach is a failure to distinguish anxiety from legitimate urgency. You may be asking yourself: What’s the difference? Here’s how I define the two: Anxiety is an emotional state — often […]
Part 4 – Leading Better Meetings: Identifying Problem Behavior
People don’t hate meetings because they are inherently horrible. They hate meetings that are poorly led – especially when it comes to tolerating problematic behavior. I define “problem behavior” as a pattern of participation, often unconscious and habitual, that distracts from the purpose of the meeting and undermines productivity. How often do you see the […]
Part 2 – Leading Better Meetings: Only Meet for the Right Reasons
How many times have you found yourself sitting in a meeting and silently asking: “What the hell am I doing here?” “Does ‘this’ actually justify being in a room together?”Maybe it’s a standing weekly meeting that no longer serves its original purpose. Or, a promised status update that has turned into an endless presentation with […]
Part 1 – Leading Better Meetings: Why Good People Have Bad Meetings
I’m not sure I need to convince you that there is an endemic dysfunction afflicting our workplaces – terrible meetings. Regardless of whether they are virtual or in-person, meetings can be really bad for a variety of reasons: Meetings aren’t taken seriously. People show up distracted and underprepared. They are skeptical about whether anything of […]
Drawing and Holding the Line
After publishing my blog series about “over-functioning” in the workplace (you’ll find the links below), I wound up in many conversations with leaders who shared some version of the following: “OK, guilty as charged. I’m a chronic over-functioner. So, what’s the one thing I can do that will help me establish a healthier way of […]
Getting Wiser (Part 4): Embrace Vulnerability
If there is a holy grail of leadership (especially for men), embracing vulnerability might be it. Vulnerability means being open about one’s weaknesses and struggles, and empathetic to others’ when they are vulnerable. It is not always easy to be vulnerable, and especially so for people in positions of leadership. Why is vulnerability so difficult? […]
Getting Wiser (Part 3): Look for the Good
“Mankind will not perish for want of information; but only for want of appreciation.” -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel I used to spend a lot of time in airplanes and hotels, neither of which are places where humans tend to flourish. Travel days always felt frustrating and stressful… until I invented a simple, yet game-changing practice […]
Getting Wiser (Part 2): Partner with the “Unwanted”
At least 50% of surprises that come my way are unwanted by me. I know they are unwanted because my inner judge immediately labels them as dangerous, or bad, or inconvenient. I quickly double down on a conviction that the unwanted people or circumstances: 1) are being done “to me”, and 2) are the impediment […]
Getting Wiser (Part 1): Engage in Self-Reflection
During her first coaching session with me, a CEO client recently declared, “I don’t spend a minute looking backward. I’m all about the future.” My reply: “Well, then you’re not even close to reaching your full potential.” To her credit she didn’t fire me. Instead she laughed and asked me to explain. Here’s a version […]