ON MY MIND: Saying a Skillful “No”
What makes saying “no” so difficult? First, we all have these archetypal saboteurs that run like tape recordings in our heads. Some of the saboteurs that make saying “no” most difficult include: The pleaser who believes “people won’t like or value me if I don’t meet their needs by saying ‘yes.’” The hyper-achiever who believes […]
ON MY MIND: Leaders, We Can Be Kinder to Ourselves
You won’t be surprised to know that I’m my harshest critic. Often, when I return from a high-stakes client meeting a family member or colleague will ask: “How did it go?” Usually, my answer is something like: “The client was blown away by how well it went…I give myself a B.” Then I list all […]
ON MY MIND: Leadership and the Art of Subtraction
In my free time, I carve wooden spoons. The process of carving a spoon is quite simple: Draw a spoon on a piece of wood and then carve away the extraneous material. Unlike art forms that are additive, spoon carving involves incremental subtraction — gradually taking away wood in order to reveal the spoon’s essential […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Originals: How NonConformists Move the World by Adam Grant
Conformity – going with the established ways of doing things — is a reasonable strategy when it comes to navigating your career. It’s the path of least resistance. But according to author Adam Grant, if you want to change the world, you must pursue the path of originality. In Originals, Grant combines academic research about […]
ON MY MIND: Making Smart Choices in a Really Awful Situation
There are many versions of “really awful” at work. Your boss is absent or worse – an unappreciative, narcissistic bully. Or maybe you’ve realized that the philosophy or direction of your organization just doesn’t fit your values and you feel out of integrity. Perhaps you have realized that you are in the middle of a […]
FROM MY BOOKSHELF: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene’ Brown, PhD
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” – Brene’ Brown Most of us want to belong. We want to be accepted, liked, and admired. Sometimes we feel that the only way to get this external validation is to silence an important part of ourselves […]
WHO I READ ONLINE: Margaret Wheatley
Taking a break from writing my own blog allows me the opportunity to appreciate the writing and wisdom of others. One such writer is Margaret Wheatley (aka Meg). If you haven’t encountered insights from “Meg” before, I am happy to introduce you to her. Wheatley’s website doesn’t offer a traditional blog but it does contain […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 3)
In Part 1 of this blog, I introduced white male privilege as a key leadership challenge. Last week’s Part 2 blog offered examples of “self-directed” actions – steps leaders can take to confront their own ignorance, complacency, and complicity. In this week’s blog, I’ll explore “outward-directed” actions that we can take to foster equal access […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 2)
Last week’s blog explored some initial thoughts about what it means to lead responsibly as a straight white male in our culture. I shared some questions I’ve been asking myself for a long time. This week I’ll explore what I call the “inner work” of taking responsibility in a world that favors people who look […]
ON MY MIND: This White Man’s Responsibility (Part 1)
Back in the 1980s, I was at a small regional airport with a colleague named Michael. We were traveling together, running late and at risk of missing our flight. I suggested we sprint to the gate. Michael looked at me and said, “Larry, a guy who looks like me, particularly on a day I’m dressed […]