In my free time, I carve wooden spoons. The process of carving a spoon is quite simple: Draw a spoon on a piece of wood and then carve away the extraneous material. Unlike art forms that are additive, spoon carving involves incremental subtraction — gradually taking away wood in order to reveal the spoon’s essential beauty and function.
On some days I wind up sitting for hours. Cutting a few chips of wood away, pausing, and asking myself “what is not needed?” This practice has made me realize just how much time and effort I’ve invested doing just the opposite — acquiring material things, adding relationships, augmenting my credentials, expanding the list of accomplishments, adopting beliefs and new parts of my identity and so on. We live in a culture that equates success and personal fulfillment with expansion – more knowing, more doing, more having, and move to achieve.
I’m not making a moral judgment here. I’m simply noticing the pattern of expansion, which raises this question for me: What if the true art of living and leading is more like carving a spoon? What if my real work is to figure out what to carve away in order to reveal the essential beauty and purpose of my life? For example, in my work as a group facilitator over the past few years, I purposely make 30% fewer interventions. By carving away the interventions that might make me look smart, I am left delivering the highest impact actions. So I continue to carve away extraneous facilitation techniques in the hope that at some point I will become a spoon – the purest expression of function and beauty in facilitation.
How can you start carving? By using questions as the sharp edge of the knife. Such as:
What activities might you subtract in order to make room for more purpose, meaning, and fulfillment?
What commitments have you been saying “yes” to that don’t represent the contribution you are here to make?
What relationships is it time to divest from in order to make time and space for those that feed and nurture you?
What limiting assumptions and beliefs – about yourself, others, the way the world works – no longer serve you?
As you ponder these questions, keep the following in mind:
1) This is an incremental process. Once you’ve cut too big a piece away, it’s hard to put it back. So, proceed slowly.
2) Remember that just as spoon carving begins with a pencil drawing – the answers to these questions must be guided by your sense of purpose – the essential function and beauty you are trying to create through your life and your leadership.
What will you carve away first?
Larry,
Great image / metaphor, and great questions + cautions!
I’m reminded of Michelangelo of whom it is said he looked at a slab of marble, imagined what it is supposed to be and chipped away everything else.
How nice for you to have your own parallel!
Jeff
Jeff,
Glad you enjoyed the metaphor and the questions! Thanks for sharing the Michelangelo quote. It makes me realize that I didn’t specifically call out in the blog that this practice of reduction is more art than science — it’s creative trial and error, experimentation, and discovery. — Larry
Nice piece. Thought you’d also want to consider how a wooden spoon set atop a boiling pot keeps it from boiling over.
I had no idea that was a thing… Jewish mother’s urban myth or fact? : ). In any case, I’m glad you’re reading the blog and always happy to see your comments.
— Larry
Yes! I often use that trick when I’m cooking pasta.
Great metaphor. I look forward to talking more about choosing trees, cutting limbs, and making spoons.
They say, “Once you’ve made one successful spoon, there is no way to stop.” See a link to a nearby woodworker renowned for his spoons.
Greg, I’m not sure I’ve made a “successful” spoon but I’m definitely unable to stop once I begin carving. I find it to engage a part of my brain that doesn’t get used enough. My busy mind quiets down when I’m working with a sharp tool that requires me to think about one thing and one thing only. So, it’s become a kind of contemplative practice. Your link did not come through in your comments. I’ll try to include below in mine. https://www.finewoodworking.com/2015/12/02/the-simple-art-of-spoon-carving
Larry, I get a lot out of this. I see the actual meaning in reference to the spoon and in reference to my life. I am in a state of expansion professionally and your post helps me tune into other dynamics that are equally important as expanding.
Subtracting, the way you talk about it, has a minimalist zen vibe that I like, and have in many ways forgotten.
Larry, your questions are beautiful. They are succinct, simple and profound. Answering them is enriching. I admire your ability to ask meaningful question.
Love, your friend,
the other Greg (Burdulis)
And in our case, we added a spoon to our lives, made by you, and it made things better. xo
Great read, and something I needed to hear. Keep being you brother and sharing your light into the world.
Wonderful, unique perspective and reminder. The more substantive version of “Kondo-“ing. Always appreciate your fresh and sincere perspective.
The 13th century Rhineland mystic, Meister Elkhart, said “The soul grows by subtraction.” Whittle away, Larry!
Larry
I just got around to reading about the spoon, delayed perhaps because of “more” rather than “less”. It parallels the Hebrew concept of “tzimtzum” about which Rabbi Eugene Borowitz of blessed memory has written brilliantly. Wishing you all the best.
Chuck Kroloff
Remember that just as spoon carving begins with a pencil drawing – the answers to these questions must be guided by your sense of purpose – the essential function and beauty you are trying to create through your life and your leadership. … Love it, worth repeating and doing.
I love this idea. In my Erev Rosh HaShanah sermon this year, I built around a similar concept, that of Michelangelo freeing the angel of David from the block of marble that was there. Chiseling away what is extraneous, what gets in the way of seeing and realizing our full potential. Talked about doing things like a “notification audit” on my phone and getting rid of alerts that are totally unnecessary, etc. Happy to share with anyone who’s curious. Obviously this really resonates with me, Larry, as basically everything you write does! Thank you!!!