People don’t hate meetings because they are inherently horrible. They hate meetings that are poorly led – especially when it comes to tolerating problematic behavior. I define “problem behavior” as a pattern of participation, often unconscious and habitual, that distracts from the purpose of the meeting and undermines productivity. How often do you see the following archetypal patterns of behavior in your meetings?
The Bulldozer argues, monopolizes, and cross-examines in order to dominate, win, or be “right”. The Bulldozer often dismisses and belittles others’ opinions, calling into question the intelligence, judgment, and motives of those who hold different perspectives.
The Contrarian overuses the stance of devil’s advocate, focusing on risks, disadvantages, and reasons an idea “will never work”. Contrarians rarely offer an alternative to the topic or solution they are criticizing. They often have a hidden agenda they are attempting to advance.
The Interrupter does not allow others to finish speaking before inserting their opinion. Interrupters feel a constant sense of urgency and an almost uncontrollable impulse to express what they think at the expense of others – especially when they disagree with what is being said.
The Multi-tasker believes they can be fully present in the meeting while simultaneously taking care of other tasks. Multi-taskers also wrongly believe that others do not notice they are distracted by other activities (e.g., tending to email while on a video conference call). But we always do!
The Side-tracker is famous for taking a conversation down the proverbial “rabbit hole” – into topics and personal stories that seem irrelevant to the meeting purpose and disconnected from the meeting agenda. Side-tracker behavior can cost teams valuable time and weaken the focus of meetings.
The Silent Type tends not to speak up in meetings unless explicitly invited. This person may be more introverted or newer to the team. Not hearing from Silent Types means we may be missing out on an important perspective or essential wisdom. It’s easy to mislabel them as indifferent.
Teams pay a high price when leaders allow problem behaviors to persist . First, team members come to dread meetings as a waste of time. Second, teams fail to tap into collective wisdom and diverse perspectives. Finally, frustration and resentment (particularly toward the leader) begin to undermine team unity.
In my next blog post, coming your way in early December, we will look at how leaders can prevent and intervene in problematic meeting behavior. In the meantime, here’s your “homework” assignment – begin to observe how often these archetypal behaviors show up in your own meetings and how effectively you and others respond to them. The more skilled you become in naming problem behaviors the better you’ll become at taming them!
Image Credit: Julia Taubitz on Unsplash