In Part 4 of this series we identified six archetypal problem behaviors – patterns of participation, often unconscious and habitual – that distract from the purpose of our meetings and undermine productive engagement. The following five strategies will aid you in addressing such behaviors.
Separate the person from the problem behavior. As a rule, problem behaviors happen not because people are inherently “a problem”, but because we all have blind spots and saboteurs. When we attribute motives, character, or competence to others’ actions, we are less likely to intervene with calm and kindness, yielding a charged – perhaps unfairly aggressive or accusatory response. Meetings are places where learning and growth can happen. We don’t need to embarrass anyone.
Set expectations up front. Before the meeting, be proactive in describing and getting buy-in for meeting goals and behavior norms. In advance of your meeting your job is to propose; 1) How we define “success” for this meeting, and 2) The behaviors we all must commit to in service of achieving this success. Examples of the latter, also known as meeting “norms” or “shared agreements,” include:
- Be fully present
- Share your perspective honestly
- Ask others about their perspectives
- Challenge the idea, not the person
- Balance speaking with listening
- Respect confidentiality
Enlist others as stewards of the meeting. As the meeting leader you should not be the sole enforcer of the norms. This type of parental stance is counter to the idea of mutual accountability. The spirit of “shared agreements” is that everyone in the meeting not only agrees to model the meeting norms, but also commits to intervene when someone veers off course.
Structure conversation for focus and balance. There are many structures you can utilize in meetings, including paired and small group breakouts, roundtable discussions, consensus-building, etc. I’ve described many of these methods in past blogs.
Intervene in real-time with clarity, consistency, and kindness. Inevitably, meeting participants will fall into unconscious and habitual ways of contributing that look a lot like the archetypes I described in Part 4 of this series. Here are four back-pocket tactics I use a lot.
Remind people about mutual agreements by politely interrupting and saying something like: I’m seeing (state behavior as if captured on video). Can we take a moment to recommit to (state agreement)?
Reclaim the “mic” after someone has been interrupted. Sounds like: Joe, I don’t think Sarah had finished speaking. Is that correct Sarah?
Refocus on the meeting goals and agenda when conversation has strayed. Sounds like: If I’m understanding correctly, you are talking about X. Our goal at the moment is to decide on Y. Can we table X for now in order to accomplish Y?
Rebalance the conversation when one or more people seem to be dominating. Sounds like: I’m noticing we are hearing a lot from four participants and want to check to see if others might want to weigh in on this topic.
Author and consultant Peter Block once wrote: “Leadership is convening.” Your ability to bring people together to do their best thinking, as well as commit to what matters, largely determines your effectiveness as a leader. The facilitative strategies and tactics outlined in this blog take some practice but will certainly pay off for you and for your team.